Not kidding anymore
by Linderel
Summary: That's the point, Towa. You said that you were kidding, but I wanted it to be true." [TowaAtsuro, one-shot]


**Author's Note: **Hiya. After seeing the scene in Towa's apartment in episode 12, I just HAD to write something. So, that's why this exists. And don't you go telling me anything about neither Towa nor Atsuro "swinging that way." Even if they originally weren't meant to, well, they definitely do while in my hands. So you'll just have to excuse me for having a thing for shounen-ai. Oh, and yeah, although this fic indeed was inspired by episode 12, it takes place waaaaay after episode 44. So you won't get to complain that I've messed with the storyline.

**Disclaimer: **Towa and Atsuro do not belong to me. Oh, I'd like to have Towa all for myself alright, but unfortunately, that's impossible. I'm just playing around with these guys and have no intent whatsoever of making money with this. Don't worry, I'll return them soon...maybe.

**Warnings: **Shounen-ai, meaning boy/boy love. Don't like? Don't read. As simple as that. Also includes some mandatory angst, a few snogs and all that. Oh, and fluff, of course. Wouldn't survive without fluff. Watch out for an overdose, wouldn't want you melting into a pile of fangirl goo. And then, finally, there's the possible OOC syndrome. I think that's all for now.

**Pairing: **Towa/Atsuro

**Rating: **Err... PG-13?

**Summary: **"That's the point, Towa. You said that you were kidding, but I wanted it to be true." Towa/Atsuro

Really, basically this is just a pointless one-shot in order to get these two incredibly cute members of Lucifer together. Hey, we do need to make good use of the openings they leave us, don't we? I thought so too. After all this babble...now for the fic itself.

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Atsuro flopped down on his bed, exhausted from the day's intense practice. Sakuya had forced them to go over the same songs for about million times - or that's what it felt like, anyway - saying that they wouldn't stop before everything was perfect. i Again. /i Really, sometimes it seemed like Aine hadn't succeeded in softening him after all. On the other hand, though, Atsuro could perfectly understand the vocalist's anxiousness. Now that Lucifer had made it to the international level, they had even more fans to satisfy. They had just retuned to Japan from a tour across England and the U.S.

"Sometimes," he said aloud, "just sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I lived a normal life - I mean, went to college after graduating from high school, got a job from somewhere and all that other stuf - and if maybe I was happier that way." He turned to look at his blonde bandmate who was sitting beside his bed, leaning back on it. Said blonde only looked back at him, his face unreadable as usual, with a little smile playing on his lips. Atsuro's stomach lurched in a funny way, and a little 'eep' sound escaped from him. As Towa raised one fine eyebrow he could feel himself blush, and quickly averted his gaze to the ceiling.

i Dammit, /i he thought, i no matter how hard I try I just can't...help...feeling this way around him. Towa... /i 

Sighing, the redhead guitarrist closed his eyes and brought an arm to his face. He startled a bit when he felt a slender hand come slightly to rest on his shoulder. He removed the arm he was currently busy suffocating himself with and blinked at his comrade, whose expression had turned from cheerfully unreadable to worried. "Is that the only thing bothering you? I've noticed that you seem to have much on your mind," the blonde asked, his soft, gentle voice laced with the same concern that was visible in his beautiful brown eyes 1. "You don't have to tell me if you don't wish to, of course," he added hastily as Atsuro hesitated, biting his lip.

"No, no... I just. W-well." The redhead sighed, then smiled apologetically. "You're right, I do have a lot on my mind. That was one thing, and, well... I've been thinking about moving away, you know, to live on my own. I love my parents, but I guess I'd just like to...oh, I don't know. But then again, I wouldn't want to live alone. I guess it would be too lonely or...oh, hell, I'm not making any sense..." He trailed off and closed his eyes again, feeling suddenly very silly to be worrying over such things. He inhaled sharply, though, when he felt the hand on his shoulder move on to his forehead to brush his bangs aside, and his eyes snapped back open. Towa had his cheerful-and-polite-but-completely-and-annoyingly-unreadable expression on again, and he smiled wider than in quite some time outside the stage as far as Atsuro could remember. And he had been looking at Towa. A lot. "Wh-what?" he managed to stutter, his heart beating a tad bit too fast and then the blonde moved to sit beside him on the bed and he was bendind down and oh god--

"Is something wrong, Atsuro? You're all red and - hey, you're nearly hyperventilating! Calm down!" Towa was grasping both of Atsuro's shoulders in a death grip, looking down at his redhead bandmate with an alarmed expression. This wasn't Atsuro's usual behaviour, something was definitely wrong. The young guitarrist took a couple of deep, shuddering breaths, managing to regain his cool to some extent.

i Take a hold on yourself, you idiot! Of course Towa wouldn't-- he wouldn't--- /i 

"Aa. I'm alright," he said, his voice shuddering only a bit. Towa noticed it anyway and looked at his bandmate with suspicion, but decided to let the matter drop. "Well, if you say so. As for that aforementioned little problem of yours... Jiji and I wouldn't mind company. Actually, I've been feeling a bit lonely, even with him around. When you first moved in and then back here again, and then Yuki stayed with me for a while before moving to an apartment of his own, I got used to having someone there with me." Atsuro was now staring at him with his eyes wide, and he found himself wavering. "So I thought...uh, I thought that if you'd like, my door is open for you any time... Atsuro...?"

The redhead looked like he was about to cry, and Towa found himself wanting nothing more than to hug him tightly and comfort him as best as he could 2. He cared for his friend deeply, more than the other could ever know, and seeing him like this hurt. He reached out his hand and brushed Atsuro's stubborn bangs from his eyes again, but the movement froze when he heard the redhead emit a choked sob. He stared down, completely at a loss, and mutely witnessed Atsuro turn around so that he was lying stomach down, hands clenched into fists beside his head and shoulders shaking. "Atsuro, what--"

"You know," came the muffled reply before he could even really ask, "that time when you said... At the time when I was still staying at your place, you said one night that I should dye my hair black and come back home so that you wouldn't develop any weird feelings--"

"I remember that, but... I also said that I was kidding, so I don't ge--"

"That's the point, Towa." Atsuro shifted again so that he was on his side and stared at the floor. "You said that you were kidding, but I... Shit." He buried his face in his hands and let out another choked sob. "I wanted it to be true."

At this point, Towa could only stare, eyes wide in shock and his mouth slightly open, as Atsuro spilled his feelings out when he could no longer hold them inside.

"I've watched you, right from the beginning. God, it seems like such a long time now. I was immediately attracted to you, and then I got to know you and... When I was staying with you I just fell for you deeper and then you said and did that and..." His voice was no more than a whisper now. "And when you said that you were just kidding I was just... I thought my heart would stop, I... I--"

"Mou ii, Atsuro 3," Towa murmured gently, and facing only slight resistance, turned the redhead so that he was lying on his back again. He traced a fingertip across Atsuro's closed eyelids and proceeded to wipe away the tears that were now flowing freely down his cheeks. He bent down to press his lips on the other boy's forehead, his heart wrenching painfully when he heard his breath hitch. "To tell you the truth," he whispered, pressing soft kisses here and there on Atsuro's face, "I was completely serious back then. I just didn't think... I had really no idea that you felt that way. I'm sorry."

"Towa..." Atsuro opened his eyes as the blonde drew slightly back to look at him, snapped them shut again and unsuccessfully tried to bite back another sob. Towa moved so that he could gather the smaller boy into his arms and hugged him tightly. "It's alright, it's alright now," he murmured into the shock-red hair. He raised Atsuro's chin with one hand and kissed the tears away before momentarily meeting the other's soft lips with his own. He was surprised, though, when Atsuro suddenly flung his arms around him and repeated the previously fleeting contact which he now desperately seeked to prolong. Before neither of them noticed, the kiss had deepened remarkably and they were hungrily seeking for more contact between their bodies. They fell back to the bed, Atsuro under Towa, whose hands were now freely roaming and soon found their way under Atsuro's shirt, continuing to explore the bare skin of his stomach and chest.

The redhead gasped at the contact, and Towa's tongue probed at the entrance to his mouth. Atsuro, head spinning, let the invasion happen and met the blonde's tongue with his own. The kiss turned even more hungry and the two boys explored each other's mouths and bodies for what seemed like an eternity before their lungs informed them that it was time to break off to do some breathing.

"I guess I'll take that as a yes," Towa said, smiling gently down at his companion. "Y-yeah," came the breathy reply, "I could move to your place. Actually..." There was a small, shy smile on Atsuro's face. "Nothing could stop me from doing that anymore, as long as it's alright with you."

Towa proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of him.

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1 - They looked like brown to me in the anime, so I'm making them brown in this fic. If they aren't brown - well, then just pretend that they are.

2 - I'm sure there's something wrong with this sentence. Please, point it out to me if you see something.

3 - Sorry, I tried to keep the fic devoid of Japanese this time around, but I just couldn't find another way to express this. "Mou ii" (if it's even spelled right) is something like "that's enough," but it just sounded too rough in English and well...yeah.


End file.
